Tuesday, May 28, 2013

what's the difference...

...between compromising and settling?

I'd like to say I have it figured out and I know the answer, but I'm not sure I do.

So, there's this guy I REALLY like. And we get along like peaches and cream, chocolate and peanut butter, Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert. You know... really great and pretty amazing by themselves, but somehow when you put them together... TA DA!

The story from here, should say, "and he thought she was pretty amazing too, and they went and did amazing things together and many years passed..." But it doesn't. Not yet. I mean, I think it still could someday.

There are just a few things we don't necessarily agree on. And they're kind of big ticket items, for me anyway. So I'm stalling. I'm hesitating to take the next step, because I'm not sure what direction to go. Do I cut and run? Do I stand my ground? Or do I let him have his way?

And here is my struggle... In my bones, I feel an intense connection with this man. He understands me like very few ever have. If I give in, and let him have his way on the things we are currently disagreeing on, am I compromising or settling? Is it really a compromise when it feels like I'm doing all the giving, and he has not budged on anything? And is settling what I want to do? God knows I've done that, and ended up with a pretty badly beaten heart out of it.

Yet when I look at the alternative, at walking away, my heart slams on the brakes before I even move. Don't give up yet, it says.

So, how will we bridge the gap? Will we find the way to be together that meets both our needs and builds on the chemistry and attraction we already have? I hope so. My heart hopes so. My intuition says there's a way. I just need to find the compromise that works without feeling like either of us are settling.

Wish us luck.

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