Friday, October 18, 2013

no fear allowed

I've had a variety of experiences in my career. I've experienced mediocre bosses, good bosses, horrible bosses and a couple of amazing wonderful ones. I've had good jobs, challenging jobs, stick a needle in my eye if I have to do this one more day jobs, and come face to face with the burnout monster more than once.

So, I've come to value and appreciate balance between work stress and the rest of my life as well as the interpersonal relationships I have with  my boss and my team. I'm in the fortunate spot right now to have the best team I've ever worked with. Our boss is a superhero and always our biggest cheerleader. My coworkers and I naturally support and encourage each other personally and professionally. Everyone pulls their weight.

The problem is, we're pulling too much weight. We're extremely overworked and our creativity and ability to excel at our jobs is suffering. It's been this way for a couple of years, and there is no relief in sight. I've been able to hold on and stave off the burnout monster for a while, simply by relying on the strength of our team. Knowing that we're in this together helps. I think we all know that if one of us leaves, the team could easily implode because there isn't any wiggle room to absorb the workload.

A position recently opened up that seems to be written exactly for me and my experience. I know I would do a great job at it. But I hesitated when I was first told about it.

Last weekend, during some much needed down time with family, I had the opportunity to talk it over with my mom and brother, and also seriously listen to my own heart. I realized I was letting fear cause my hesitation. It's not doubt that I'm good enough, it's fear that I'm leaving behind a great boss and team and may never have that again. Looking at that fear, I realize that there is no way that my new boss would be as bad as the horrible Rhonda was. From all reports, he's a fair boss and not a micro-manager, empowering his employees to make decisions. In my current job, I'm bored with the tasks I do. I'm not challenged by the substance of my work, just the quantity of it after five years of doing the same thing. I need to grow and learn and expand my skills. This job would give me a challenge. I'm ready for one.

I know I can't let fear make the decision for me. So I threw my hat in the ring and applied for the job. Wish me luck.