Tuesday, May 28, 2013

what's the difference...

...between compromising and settling?

I'd like to say I have it figured out and I know the answer, but I'm not sure I do.

So, there's this guy I REALLY like. And we get along like peaches and cream, chocolate and peanut butter, Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert. You know... really great and pretty amazing by themselves, but somehow when you put them together... TA DA!

The story from here, should say, "and he thought she was pretty amazing too, and they went and did amazing things together and many years passed..." But it doesn't. Not yet. I mean, I think it still could someday.

There are just a few things we don't necessarily agree on. And they're kind of big ticket items, for me anyway. So I'm stalling. I'm hesitating to take the next step, because I'm not sure what direction to go. Do I cut and run? Do I stand my ground? Or do I let him have his way?

And here is my struggle... In my bones, I feel an intense connection with this man. He understands me like very few ever have. If I give in, and let him have his way on the things we are currently disagreeing on, am I compromising or settling? Is it really a compromise when it feels like I'm doing all the giving, and he has not budged on anything? And is settling what I want to do? God knows I've done that, and ended up with a pretty badly beaten heart out of it.

Yet when I look at the alternative, at walking away, my heart slams on the brakes before I even move. Don't give up yet, it says.

So, how will we bridge the gap? Will we find the way to be together that meets both our needs and builds on the chemistry and attraction we already have? I hope so. My heart hopes so. My intuition says there's a way. I just need to find the compromise that works without feeling like either of us are settling.

Wish us luck.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

when life hands me lemons...

I make my favorite luscious lemon cupcakes... a seriously yummy recipe you can find here. The fresh lemon buttercream frosting really makes it though. I've actually made this recipe with a box cake, using lemon juice in place of some of the liquid, and it came out great too. I made it as a layer cake, adding just enough yellow food color to the frosting to make you think of the sweetest creamy butter you've ever seen and topping it with yellow sugar.

I served it to my mom and Bill one day. I thought my mom might faint from the lemony goodness. Because that's how these girls roll. We love lemony goodness around here.

This week, life isn't handing me lemons. It is full of bananas though. Which, if you need to make banana cupcakes for a coworkers birthday next week, is just fine.

I'm thinking of this recipe, in hollowed out cupcakes full of the custardy filling and sliced bananas and a sweet whipped cream frosting.

Just one thing...I could use the actual bananas though, not the ones that ended up on my plate at work...

Wednesday, May 15, 2013


Today, I'm amazed at how true this is. Life is running at full speed, and I'm just trying to keep my balance amidst more chaos and obstacles than ever. I can't even explain how much I need a break. More than 3 hours of sleep in a row would be a really nice start.

I won't even mention work, health, family, love, home, and all the other stressors that are throwing stuff my direction.

And yet, I find myself living with more calm and resolution than ever. I know there will be hard and painful days ahead. I also know that there will be goodness. My heart is full and open and peaceful.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

young at heart

Ever since the day he picked me out, I’ve loved his sweet face. He is the essence of peace and confidence. He won’t back down if someone threatens his family (me), but he has also mastered the lazy “smell the roses” stroll. 

I admit, I didn’t fully know what I was getting into when I got him. I remember my best friend asking me if I knew that some dogs eat their own poop, and was I really prepared to deal with that? But I was in love, puppy love, and I fell in deep. And my life is so much better as a result. When I look at the friends I have now that I never would have met without him, I count my blessings. And when I remember the times he’s let me cry into his fur and just snuggled in when I needed love, I count them again. 

And so, when my cute old man who has arthritis and other complicated illnesses, brings me his ball when I get home, I can’t help but smile at his wagging tail and his cute little hop and skip and stroll to pick up the ball after I throw it. He’s so stinkin’ cute!
old dogs
Print available here.

Monday, May 6, 2013

making room… literally

I have a lot of clothes. I know this. I have a hard time letting go and give myself all sorts of reasons to keep them – they will fit again, that little stain can be taken out, I just need to take the waist in, I could wear that as my grubby work around the house clothes, etc.

Do you remember that scene in 27 dresses when the closet of dresses bounces open right after Katherine Heigl’s character muscles it closed?
My closet wasn’t quite that bad. My dresser is another story. Do I need that many socks and tank tops?

Last night I started the process of really cleaning out the closet. I was putting away laundry, and something snapped. I just had it. I was tired and frustrated with my crowded and cramped space. So I am literally making room in my closet. I started only re-hanging things I have actually worn in the last 6 months and still fit. My goal is to cut my closet clutter in half. And dresser, you’re next!

I couldn’t get it all done, but I made enough room to hang up this week’s laundry without crying. I made enough of a dent to see the light at the end of the tunnel and keep motivated to keep on keeping on.

Now… to stick to my new plan… nothing new comes in without something old going out.