monday motivation - the key to me?

 

 Or... is it...

the key to me = happiness? 

No matter what seems to be heading my way (this last weekend was difficult to say the least), I can still honestly and truly say that I am in a happy place. Dealing will illnesses, unexpected expenses, stress and loss has taken a toll, but because I have an amazing group of friends and family, I have been supported and loved through the chaos and upheaval. And that makes all the difference. It's true that crisis amplifies emotions and brings out people's true character, for the good or the bad. Friendships that had been strained are healed and strong again. Trust is growing among those I love, and relationships are getting healthier. 

Being happy does not happen by chance. It happens by choice. I choose to look for the good in the world. I choose to surround myself with people who lighten my load and make my heart feel fuller. Happiness happens when I focus on moving forward through hard times, when I don't allow myself to get stuck, when I empower myself to make choices from the heart, even if others may not think it's the right thing to do. And when I do that, when I allow and encourage happiness in myself and others, I feel truly and authentically like myself. 

That is about as motivating as motivation can get. To be myself. 

single is not a disease

Being single is not a disease. There aren't any symptoms. I get irritated with those who assume that single = unhappy. Being attached does not necessarily make someone happy. They aren't related. I’ve learned that having a happy and full life is about me, knowing myself inside and out, and making choices that are good for me emotionally. I have to do that whether I am single or attached.

Why do people act as if there is something wrong with being single. Like there’s no possible way you can live life without a boyfriend, so I must go out and find one now. Really? So when we go to happy hour and you spend the whole time complaining about how your boyfriend or husband was

a) acting jealous
b) doesn’t trust you when you spend time with your friends
c) spent money he shouldn’t have
d) possibly or actually cheated on you
e) accused you of cheating on him
f) doesn’t like your family
g) acted pissy because you wanted to watch a different show
h) got mad because you didn’t clean up after him
i) criticized your choice of wardrobe/job/home décor/spending habits…

are those the signs of a happy and fulfilled life? That’s what I’m missing out on? I’m not missing much, in my opinion.

I know. Not all guys are like that. Not all relationships are energy drains. I have friends who are in happy and healthy relationships, full of respect and love for each other, who communicate with each other and both compromise when needed. I admire them, and they are the benchmark for the type of relationship I want. That benchmark is the reason I hold out for a good man and don’t settle.

And in the meantime, I’m just going to keep on being happy.