the silence is so loud

On September 13, 2000, my best friend was born. He weighed exactly 16 ounces and was the second biggest in his litter of 12 chocolate lab puppies. I didn't meet him for another four weeks, and I didn't bring him home to live with me until four weeks after that.

 
Twelve years and nine months later, on June 29, 2013, we said farewell and I stroked his fur for the last time.

I knew my time was limited and I was as prepared to let him go as I could be. And I knew it would hurt and I'd miss him like crazy, and I do. I never thought about how silent the house would be. I didn't realize how it would feel to come home and not have to walk to the back to let him in from whatever place he was napping in the yard. How lonely it would be to not be woken up by a cute little face peeking over the mattress, letting me know that he needed something (a cookie, a restroom break, or just a kiss).


I can get used to sleeping in again. I can get used to the freedom of being able to not go straight home from work or coordinating to make sure someone could take care of him. But the silence? I don't know if I can get used to that.

young at heart

Ever since the day he picked me out, I’ve loved his sweet face. He is the essence of peace and confidence. He won’t back down if someone threatens his family (me), but he has also mastered the lazy “smell the roses” stroll. 

I admit, I didn’t fully know what I was getting into when I got him. I remember my best friend asking me if I knew that some dogs eat their own poop, and was I really prepared to deal with that? But I was in love, puppy love, and I fell in deep. And my life is so much better as a result. When I look at the friends I have now that I never would have met without him, I count my blessings. And when I remember the times he’s let me cry into his fur and just snuggled in when I needed love, I count them again. 

And so, when my cute old man who has arthritis and other complicated illnesses, brings me his ball when I get home, I can’t help but smile at his wagging tail and his cute little hop and skip and stroll to pick up the ball after I throw it. He’s so stinkin’ cute!

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