40 things I’ve learned – a collection of personal observations, truthsand some quotes that have shaped me into the person I am

I recently turned 40. A milestone event for sure, but not traumatic as many would want you to believe. I feel stronger, healthier, more centered at 40 than at almost any time in my life. My life is in no way perfect, but it is generally good. I came up with a list of 40 things that make up "me" and wanted to share them with you. Who am I kidding? This is my first blog post - no one is reading it yet...

1. “Should” is a word that we use too often.


2. The rhyme we learned as children “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” isn’t necessarily true. Words can hurt. It’s what we choose to do when someone uses a hurtful word that means the most.


3. A lifetime’s not too long to live as friends.


4. Sometimes, boys are stupid. I’m not saying girls aren’t, but you can write your own list if you want to say that.


5. Laughter heals. So do tears.


6. You can love someone with all your heart and they can still walk away.


7. “Don't pole vault over mouse turds.” Excellent advice about keeping life simple and not overdoing things if it's not necessary.


8. I hope I’m never too old to remember what it’s like to be a kid.


9. "A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it's an undo-it-yourself project."– Abigail Van Buren


10. I really am stronger than I think I am sometimes.


11. Watching the news is not good for my outlook on humanity. Watching children play is.


12.  Chocolate and peanut butter will always be my favorite flavor.


13. Grief is hard work. And even when you’ve walked it yourself, you don’t know what someone else’s path through it will be like.


14. “You don’t get to choose how you are going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you are going to live. Now.” - Joan Baez


15. Just because I like plants doesn’t mean I have a green thumb.


16. My dog has taught me more about myself than I thought possible.


17. Qualifying an apology with an excuse destroys the apology. Never say, “I’m sorry, but…”


18. "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Mother Teresa


19. Having a friend who will look you in the eye and tell you something you don’t want to hear, especially when it’s something you need to hear in order to grow, is a gift.


20. Popcorn and wine for dinner is okay once in a while.


21. Action is as important as words.


22. "The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself."– Anna Quindlen


23. I’m extremely grateful for my childhood, my hometown, and the community I grew up in. Even if I tell stories that make it sound otherwise sometimes.


24. Self esteem is not about anyone but me. It’s not friend esteem, or job esteem, or family esteem, or physical appearance esteem. No one else is responsible for how I feel about myself.


25. “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” – Dr. Seuss


26. It’s possible that I watch too much tv.


27. The poem “Live with intention” by Mary Anne Radmacher changed my life.


28. I don’t keep track of how many best friends I have – but there are a lot of them. I’m lucky that way.


29. Life isn’t always fair.


30. Sometimes, you just need to get out the paper, scissors, and glue and have a craft day.


31. The smell of juniper, sage brush, and pine all together smells more like home than anything I know.


32. “Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit." --E.E. Cummings


33. Being single doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you or that you’re incomplete. It can be a blessing at times. I’m one of the happiest people I know. I can paint my walls any color I like and buy new towels whenever I want.


34. Nothing beats a good belly laugh. Especially one that involves snorting and crying.


35. If you don’t end up with marshmallow in your hair, you aren’t making s’mores correctly.


36. When I was about 6 years old, a dear family friend told me I had music in my heart, and I should always remember to listen to it and sing my own song.


37.  If you think you want to run a marathon, go cheer on a friend at mile 21. If you want to feel that “good,” go ahead and sign up.


38. “Time is all you have. And you may find one day that you have less than you think.” – Randy Pausch


39. Avoiding telling someone the truth because you don’t want to hurt them does more damage than telling them.


40. “Live imperfectly with great delight.” – Leigh Standley (Curly Girl Design)