triumph

A few days ago, I read this post. Apparently, it was just what I needed at the time too. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, trying to figure out why I'm feeling "stuck" again in this path through grief so I can do something about it. I tend to get insomnia when I'm stressed or working through a tough spot, and my sleep pattern has been completely shot lately.

When Holly died last fall, I knew it was ripping open the wounds that had started to heal over Rochelle's passing. It sucked. There's no way of sugar coating it. I wasn't just grieving one loss, I was re-grieving an older one at the same time. Even when you understand grief, when you've walked this road, and you know what to expect, it can still send you for a spin.

As I read Jennifer's story and insights, I had a few new insights myself. Perhaps that was all I needed, a little sample of someone else's perspective, to help me realize fully that I have more grief work ahead of me and I'd better get to it if I want my life to keep moving in the direction I've chosen. Not that I haven't been doing any, but in some respects I have been trying to just move on instead of moving through. And it's those things that I need to pay attention to.

Since the day I read this, something has shifted. I'm feeling a little raw, a little sensitive, and at the same time hopeful and grateful. Spending time with a dear friend yesterday helped tremendously. A little laughter, serious discussions, tears and some hugs, and I slept like a dream last night. Thank you Tammy - you are just as amazing and strong as you think I am. Here's to many more years of cookie butter and smiles!

monday motivation - you choose

For today's Monday motivation - a little reminder of the power of personal choice. You can't control what others do, what happens to you, or the things people say to you, but once it is part of your life, you get to choose the direction it sends you in.